Friday, September 27, 2013

This Isn't a Deal Breaker.

Trichotillomania, eyelash and eyebrow pulling
Jacket: c/o Joules

A couple years ago, I learned that my trichotillomania triggers were stress & change. Anytime I moved, changed jobs, classes started or ended, and began or ended a relationship—I had to watch out and be ultra-conscious of my pulling and try so hard not to pull. I never did very well with my attempts and always found myself without any eyelashes or eyebrows.

This past year, for the first time since my late teens, I've had much better control over my pulling. A couple months ago, I was even able to go just over 11 weeks without pulling a single eyelash or eyebrow. Lately though, I've been having a harder time. I haven't pulled any eyelashes, but my eyebrows aren't doing as well as I'd like. I don't have any blank patches, but parts of them are sparse. I think this whole move into the new house has thrown me for a bit of a loop and I've started pulling occasionally again.

But through everything—each trial—the one thing I've learned is that every day is a new day and just because I've been stuck in a rut of doing something before, doesn't mean I have to still do it. Just because I've pulled a couple (or a lot) of eyebrow hairs here and there for the past several weeks doesn't mean that I have to pull them all out again. This isn't a deal breaker. I may be down at the moment... but I'm not out.

I suppose this is my attempt to blog about it—to get it out in the open that I've started pulling again—and once again, a public affirmation that this disorder does NOT control me, WON'T hold me down, and I WON'T let it get the best of me. The pulling stops now... I can do this.

Matthew 15:28 "Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly."

10 comments:

  1. This is so inspiring, thank you for being so brave! I hope I will be able to do the same, it seems like a really good idea to keep a record as, like you said, if you know you're going to have a picture taken, you're less likely to pull. Thank you again, you're amazing!

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  2. Thank YOU so much, Kathryn. It really, really helped keep me accountable. I know for a fact that my blog helped save me from destroying my lashes for good!

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  3. Keep going Annelise... !!!, we can do it. I know I can. Still pull free and fighting

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  4. Just recently found your website and I'm hoping you continue to post! I've been looking for Trich websites, forums, blog, anything that are still active. I really haven't found anything.it's amazing to see someone that is conquering this because at times it seems so hopeless to fight against. Anyways please keep posting :D.

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  5. Jazzmine, thanks so much for your comment. I try to post about trich once a month or so to update. I appreciate your following!!! See you with a new post soon!

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  6. thanks for sharing!! i never really knew much abou trichotillomania until reading your blog...
    do you want to follow each other? following you now on bloglovin =)

    www.lesley-kim.com

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  7. I found your blog 8 days ago and it led me to today - my 8th day of being pull free. I've been suffering from trich (lashes and brows also) for over 15 years. I really appreciate and admire your willingness and bravery to create this public forum for sharing something I completely understand is extremely personal and has the potential to be devastatingly embarrassing, socially crippling, and emotionally painful. Today was a stressful day for me and I wanted to pull so many times. I kept thinking of this blog and all the other people who are struggling just like I am...so I didn't pull - not only for myself but for all the others fighting the same urge. So, thanks for sharing...and please know that you and all those dealing with this issue are being held with compassion in my heart and mind.

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  8. Becca, thank you so so so much for your comment. I don't think this could have come at a better time, with me being stressed and wanting to pull more than ever these days. Thank you so much for your strength and for speaking out. This disorder is so game-changing and I'm so proud of you for all the progress you've made already. You've truly touched me today, thank you so much. Wishing you the best.

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  9. Becca, for you and everyone else who read Annalise blog, this is an endless fight, but we can win it. I`ve been suffering for over 40 years!!. Nevertheless, today is my 254 day pull free!! So we are in this together

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  10. RENE--YOU ARE AMAZING! 254 days of greatness!!! I am so encouraged by you!

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